Thanks, Speedy! My dad was a really awesome person, and I'm so proud to be his daughter. He used to take me with him riding his Harley through the foothills of central California when I was a teenager. I think about him every time I go riding.
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I unearthed this tonight, thought I'd share.

Once upon a Harley
July 25, 1998

I did it! I really enjoyed it too. I was on the back of one of the biggest, most beautiful Harley's I've ever seen. I didn't know the man who drove the thing, but he knew my Dad, and he offered to let me ride his bike cause it has a princess seat. It's basically a big seat with a wide back and small arms on it, so I had both hands free.

I sat with my package, and as soon as we started, I dipped my hand fully into it, and held a hand full of this strange silky dust, held my arm up as high as I could, and just let it fly. I watched it float away behind me. Then I just kept doing it handful by handful until we had finished the route.

I watched the scenery that he loved so much... before I thought it was barren and ugly. It's gently rolling golden-brown hills... most would still say it's ugly. Dad called it God's Country. I never understood why until today. I believe it's because there's nothing out there but you and God. I could be wrong about that, but I really doubt it.

My sister said that it looked really symbolic... me holding my hand up so high and just...letting go. Damon said she cried the whole way. I didn't. I'm glad I didn't. I almost did, but I was having fun. That's kind of strange... but I was having fun.

I called in a lot of favors for friends to send me all the prayers and good vibes they could, as I did my thing that day. You know... I felt it. I really did. I felt so loved and happy that day. I felt as we were leaving the last stop (in my Mom's car) that Dad was thanking me. I could hear it. He was crying and thanking me for loving him.

When the ride was over, (ended at my Dad's favorite bar up in the foothills) I went straight to a faucet outside so my mom and sister wouldn't see me covered in that sand colored powder... I didnt' want to upset them. And I almost felt as though I was baptizing myself under that water. I was in the middle of a dirty little "old west" town, washing myself in the street... and I felt so.. NEW! It was strange. We all (there was the whole Harley group and some friends) gathered on the porch of the saloon and hugged and patted backs and said how wonderful that was and how happy PJ would be and all that... and I was okay. I felt good. We went inside, and most of us sat at the bar.

Then someone put a Credence Clearwater Revival (CCR was his favorite) CD in the stereo... "Candle In The Window" (I think that's the name) came on.. and I completely lost it. I cried like I haven't cried in.... years maybe. And I couldn't stop. I have 2 years of crying to make up for... and I just can't hold it back anymore. I tried, but I just couldn't. So I sat there in that bar crying like a baby for about 10 minutes... and felt better. Then a few minutes later, "Looking Out My Back Door" came on. That is the song I played for him at his memorial service.... and I lost it again... then "Down On The Corner" and it started all over again. It felt so good... and hurt so much at the same time. And I'm still not done. I just can't stop. But I'll tell you... I feel so *alive* right now. It's amazing. Totally amazing.

"The wind in your hair and bugs in your teeth - there's no life like it!"
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